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Friday, 27 March 2020

Coronavirus FEAR



Hi.

I'm up early today (again!)- keep waking up at 7am - which is actually a good thing as I'm going to have to start getting up early every day soon!

Yesterday
Total world cases:  491,768
Total fatalities:  22,173
UK total:  9,529
UK Fatalities: 465

Today
Total world cases:  537,785
Total fatalities:  24,156
UK total: 11,813
UK Fatalities: 578

The UK has not updated it's figures yet.  46,000 new cases and around 2,000 new deaths.  Wow.

Update UK - 14,751 cases, 769 deaths. Big Jump.


So - I had a bit of a breakdown last night.  We watched, on youtube a doctor - youngish guy - just do a little video update at a couple of points during the day - he spoke about people in the wards with the virus and how hard it was for them suffering alone, watching those around them die.  I properly appreciated what he was saying, and felt it.  He spoke about the numbers of people they were seeing and how the ages varied - he said - we are seeing a lot of people in their 30's and 40's - and I am 48!  He said we have one side of the corridor for the Coronavirus patients, and the rest of the hospital is for everything else.  he went on to say that they were swapping it around - so that one corridor is for everything else and the rest of the hospital will be for the virus!

Knowing I have to leave our safe cocoon on Monday and everyday after that - scares me to the core.  I am pretty terrified of getting the virus and giving it to Andy - we have no assurances that we will live through it and it sounds awful.  Imagine what it would be like if me or Andy got the virus and were one of the ones that got really bad - we'd end up in hospital leaving the other at home to simply wait and see if we survive and see each other again - or get called in to say goodbye by which time the sick person is not aware of what is happening around them.  It really is so horrific.  Every now and again - I end up thinking - is this really happening?? It feels like we have entered the twilight zone. 

Andy was telling me last night - you are going to need to do this and that - stay away - stop people walking towards you - all these things, and eventually I just burst into tears - I felt that the pressure was too much - I've got to go out and mingle with people and do a training course and then a job whilst staying 2 metres away from every other person and clean my hands constantly in case I've touched anything contaminated, not touch my face - how I am going to keep this up!!  I really feel it is just a matter of time regardless of how careful I am.  Andy would argue with that last statement because as far as he is concerned we are NOT getting this virus!

Last night at 8pm the country all came out onto their doorsteps and clapped - for the NHS.  What those people are going to have to do over the next few months is probably going to push them to the brink - and I have no doubt that some will catch the virus too.  Its going to get hectic at the hospitals - so much suffering and death.  I am not sure how many deaths we are expecting - but Italy so far have had over 8,000.

This morning, I woke up at 7am - got up opened the curtains and shutters - gorgeous day - and the first thing I saw was an ambulance go past - lights flashing.  I thought - oh-oh - bet that has come from the Manor nursing home.  Then I thought, oh god this place is FULL of older people and retired people and nursing homes - our local hospital is going to be crazy! This is why we are getting newly qualified doctors being shipped in! (we have had a few enquiries now for the Airbnb from these Dr's).