Coronavirus stress head

Hi.

Figures first....

Wednesday
Total world cases: 1474,219-------------------53,391 increase
Total fatalities:  86,492-------------------------4,801 increase
UK total: 60,733---------------------------------5,481 increase
UK Fatalities: 7,097---------------------------  938 increase

Thursday
Total world cases: 1589,480-------------------115,261 increase
Total fatalities:  95,010-------------------------8,518 increase
UK total: 67,0755-------------------------------6,342 increase
UK Fatalities: 7,978---------------------------  881 increase

Hmmm I'm a little drunk and these figures don't seem right? I'll have to check tomorrow.

Today - I have actually felt - for the first time in my life - mentally not great.

I got up early - because I had work - I'd hardly slept.  I was completely stressed out about having to do a full 10 hour shift after a very bad nights sleep.  I was stressing about my dad - too, he'd been texting me at 11pm saying he couldn't get his antibiotics and had waited 5 hours.  He also said that the main nurse and the doctor that had been looking after him had gone off sick.  I was stressed when I woke up.  Andy, very kindly got up early with me - and I was chatting to him and getting very emotional about how stressed I was - how I hadn't slept and how I really wanted/needed to speak to somebody when I got into work about how I needed to work from home.  I left for work - got to the centre of Taunton - realised that I could not control my emotions - and was imagining me going to pieces at work and I turned around and started driving back home - I think I actually said out aloud - 'I actually did that' (turned around), I was surprised I'd actually done that.  I came home and emailed my new boss - who I don't even know and have only met once - and said to him - I am too emotional - my dad is in hospital and I'm worried about catching the virus and bringing it home.  I was such a mess and felt like a complete failure - I thought I was strong and could cope with anything - and there I was going to pieces.  I have been through many things in my life but never have I felt so physically ill from stress.  Luckily my new boss seemed quite understanding - although he thought it was all about my dad, which it is, mostly - but I'm not coping in many ways.  Andy is brilliantly supportive and spent quite a bit of time telling me how it is okay, to not be okay! I spoke to Helen - and she was also awesome and supportive and is in many ways feeling just as I am.   I think many people are feeling the same as me - this is a weird and bizarre world at the moment.   I spoke to my boss at 9am and also at 12 - and I said - I just need to not have to come to work for a few days - because I am not sleeping and one of the reasons why I am not sleeping is because I am worried about having to get through a 10 hour shift after not having slept.  He was cool about this and I appreciate it.

Andy pointed out that just weeks ago - we were living in our amazing house, he had an amazing job, I got up when I wanted and did what I wanted - improving the house, we were making extra money from the annex - and then BOOM it all turned to crap!  Regardless, I am really amazed that I can feel so bad from stress - all this is weird, hard and just awful - and difficult to accept.

So today - like other days I was soooo tired - I slept for hours in the afternoon - and when I got up, Andy - being amazingly thoughtful - played funny video's - jump scare videos and anything he could find to try and make me laugh as well as feeding me alcohol.  We ended up having a good night.  I have until Wednesday until I have to go back to work - so a few days not having to worry about that at least.