Dad - coronavirus critical care and emotional torture.

Monday
Total world cases: 1914,371------------------- 96,394 increase
Total fatalities:  119,103-------------------------6,499 increase
UK total: 88,621-------------------------------4,342 increase
UK Fatalities: 11,329--------------------------- 717  increase

Tuesday
Total world cases: 1975,005------------------- 60,634 increase
Total fatalities:  124,792-------------------------5,689 increase
UK total: 93,873-------------------------------5,252 increase
UK Fatalities: 12,107--------------------------- 778  increase

So the figures are similar to every other day. The news was quite bizarre as far as the US is concerned- Sky News headline was - Coronavirus: 'The biggest meltdown ever' from a US president as Trump accused of trying to 'rewrite history'.  There was outrage really because rather than concentrate on the the people that are dying - Trump wanted to talk about how well he had done - when really he had not.  News channels even stopped showing the press release and CNN broadcast the news conference live but with accompanying graphics accusing the president of turning the briefing into "a propaganda session" and trying to "rewrite history".

I spent a lot of time this morning researching and writing my last post until our family group got a message off my sister Helen which said -
Hello everyone. I’ve just spoken to a Dr on the ward. Dad has worsened significantly today. Tests confirmed a severe COVID picture with pneumonia. This is despite antibiotics. 
They are moving him now to high dependency for c-pap for forced oxygen. 
He is currently stable. Sorry it’s not good news. 
Love to all xxx

I called Helen after seeing this and she said that the Dr had called her on my dads request (rather than call my mum) and he said that  now is the time to be cautious, that this morning there were problems with oxygen levels and signs of pneumonia.  He had worsened significantly, there was a  severe covid picture.  He had discussed his care with a critical care Dr and ventilation with incubation was not in his best interests and that CPAP is his best option but might not work.  Also - my Dad apparently agreed to a Do Not Resuscitate, if his heart stopped. 

Absolutely devastating news.   Helen then had to call my mum and tell her this news.  She said it was the most difficult conversation she had ever had.  My mum was understandably in pieces - saying she was never going to see him again and she was alone.  Both me and Helen were upset on the phone.  All I could think about was how my Dad would be scared, he would be so worried about my mum.  I got off the phone to Helen and tried calling my dad - hoping to catch him before he was transferred.  I got through and he sounded awful - not able to breath and I couldn't understand him. All I made out was him saying - I have to do this or I'll just fade away.  I then heard a nurse saying I need to put this on you - and the line went dead.  I hope to god (not that I believe in god) that, that was not the last I heard from my dad. 

This makes me so annoyed - that, although my dad is 79 - he had a lot of time left in him - possibly ten years - and this virus might take him away from us now.  It is not fair! I believe that my dad is strong and a fighter! I just have to hope that he can survive this!! I can't even contemplate the alternative. 

The rest of the day - Andy was just there for me - he fed me gin and tonics....we sat in the garden and discussed the injustice and how I believe that this virus was man made by the Chinese. 

Apparently the next 24-48 hours are crucial for my dad.  I am just hoping that later in the year, I'll share a bottle of red wine with my dad and reflect on his experience.  Please let me read back on this post with a smile because that is exactly what we do.