Mouse trap

Monday
Total world cases: 2,476,574------------------- 137,445 increase
Total fatalities:  170,569-------------------------5,563 increase
UK total: 124,743-------------------------------4,676 increase
UK Fatalities: 16,509--------------------------- 449 increase

Tuesday
Total world cases: 2,556,487------------------- 79,913 increase
Total fatalities:  177,232-------------------------6,663 increase
UK total: 129,044-------------------------------4,301 increase
UK Fatalities: 17,337--------------------------- 828 increase

Well, yesterday I spoke about how the UK deaths had reduced - and the day before - but today they are back up again.  828 people had to go through something awful - and all their families are now grieving - and that's just in the UK.   The news today states that we may have got over the peak and that the increase in deaths today may have been a delay in reporting.  However, deaths from other causes have increased - because of the knock-on effect.  So many people dying, and so many people going insane because of the lock down.  Almost everybody must be suffering some kind of negative effect but I bet quite a lot of people are enjoying being at home unaffected by it all - wish I was one of those people!

Today - we all got up - stupidly early again. Chatted and did some admin and then Helen went out with mum today with the dogs.  We think we may have got through the scary time span where we would have shown symptoms if we had contracted the virus at the hospital - but that's not 100% certain....whilst they were out I called to arrange the flowers for the casket - and near the end of the conversation she asked for my dads name - and when I told her - she sort of gasped, because she knew my dad - unsurprising, as so many people knew him! She seemed really thrown by this and I went to pieces again as soon as I got off the phone.  I just kept thinking - or actually saying - I'm so sorry dad!! I was thinking - I'm so sorry this happened to you!!

It was at this point that I decided to write the letter to my dad that is on this blog.  I just felt that I needed to say a few things to him.  I think it did me a lot of good writing it.  I had a massive dilemma about posting that here on the blog - I put it up and took it down again a few times - but in the end decided to leave it up.  Might never be able to read it back without getting upset.  But the whole point of this blog is to be able to look back at everything and see and feel how I was feeling at any point in time.

I tried to straighten myself out before mum and Helen came back - but I failed really.  Its okay though - we have all got used to each other randomly getting upset.

A few days ago my mum told me that, Hilda, the woman that runs the dancing club they go to was not going to go - or cancel the dancing session and my mum said - we'll be okay, people are overreacting - so they all went dancing and the next day Hilda told my mum she wasn't well and thought she had the virus - then my Mum came down with it - and then my dad caught it.  She feels responsible now that if she hadn't said that to Hilda my Dad would still be alive.  I tried to reassure her - she shouldn't have to live with that guilt, and she was self isolating by 20th March and the lock down came on 23rd.  Horrible thought though that it could possibly have been avoided.

After lunch me and Helen went into the attic - Mum and Dad had wanted us to go up there and take anything that might be ours as they have a lot of stuff up there.  I hadn't expected to find anything of mine because I think they gave me my stuff years ago.  We joked about it being like friends when Ross found loads of memorabilia from his childhood in his parents garage but all Monica's boxes had been used to protect her dads car during a flood.  Helen found loads of her stuff and there was hardly anything of mine - just 3 old games.  Mouse trap and...cant remember the name of it now - but a game I never would have remembered about!  There was also spirograph - and I was so chuffed because underneath the pieces in the box was lots of drawings and I thought awww look at these I did - only to find Helens name on it all as well as our Bevs!

We didn't really do much for the rest of the day.  I had made campfire stew which is made with a big gammon joint and goes in the slow cooker.  At some point during the day I thought that it wasn't cooking well/quick enough so I turned it to high.  I really wanted to make something nice for me and mum and really wanted it to turn out well.  When I came back to it at 5pm I discovered that I had set it to 'keep warm' rather than high - so it wasn't as tender as it should be.  I didn't really enjoy it - but my mum seemed to which was a relief!

Our evening was the same as usual - watched the end of Tiger King - and I came to bed early as usual.

The battery is about to go on my laptop - so I'm going to leave it there.