Tuesday 28 April 2020

Back in my bunk bed



Monday
Total world cases: 3,058,059-------------------71,349  increase
Total fatalities:  211,308-------------------------4,685 increase
UK total: 157,149------------------------------- 4,309 increase
UK Fatalities: 21,092--------------------------- 360 increase

Tuesday
Total world cases: 3,122,833-------------------64,774  increase
Total fatalities:  216,479-------------------------5,171 increase
UK total: 161,145------------------------------- 3,996 increase
UK Fatalities: 21,678--------------------------- 586 increase

The numbers seem high again today.  That sucks ass!  In the news - there was a minutes silence today for the 100 key workers that have died.  How bad is that - end up dying because you were helping the sick.  There are lots of sad stories - today two brothers died on the same day, twins died days apart...just people dying and suffering and families grieving, day after day and all over the entire globe. 

Care homes are also in the news - apparently care home deaths account for a third of the coronavirus deaths.  There have been 3,096 according to one news report - which is not a third - so not sure why these reports are conflicting but there is no doubt that lots of care homes are having huge problems.

Germany who have kept their numbers low have seen an increase since allowing small businesses to re-open.  That's scary because an attempt at a little normality has led to more people dying.  Hope we don't do this too soon.

Anyway - today was mostly the same again - I didn't go for the dog walk - I cleaned the bathroom and chatted to Andy instead.  Then I did what I have been putting off and went into the garage to sort out my dads tools - I'm taking lots of things so they don't get thrown away at a later date, and because last time I visited my dad was trying to give away some of his tools to me, so I know he would want me to have them (as I do lots of DIY).  It was hard though, and felt wrong taking his things...he has been a joiner all of his life so his tools were a big part of what he did.  Last time I went into the garage and looked at the tools, and saw the window frame he made me I totally lost it - which is why I have been putting it off.  This time I just got on with the job and tried not to be sentimental. I have plenty of time for that when I get home.

Hilda, my mum and dads friend from dancing came around to see my mum - they were chatting - from a distance - outside the garage where I was and I really did not want to meet her or see her.  It is very likely that it was her that passed the virus to them.  Apparently she was going to cancel dancing (she runs it) just before the lock down, and my mum said she was over-reacting - so it went ahead and my mum and dad spent time with her.  The next day she informed them that she was ill and probably had the virus, then my mum came down with it - then my dad.....

My mum, however, said 'Sam, come and meet Hilda' and I had to be polite and say hello (part of being British) I know I am maybe being unreasonable because, they didn't understand the full extent and danger of the virus, nor did Hilda know that she was ill - but it just makes me think - if only they hadn't gone, if only they had been more fearful and careful.  I suppose there is no turning back time...

After my mums soup and dumplings - which me and Helen love - we sat in the living room for a while and then I went back to bed for an hour.  I was just bored and tired today...

After tea - I retreated to my little room and got online with Andy, Connor & Emily, Adam & Erika and Lissa & Antony - and Connor & Emily hosted a quiz!  It was great to get together with everybody and see all of their faces!!  I was rather worried about the quiz - as I was on my own and not with Andy, and I am awful at general knowledge, I didn't want to embarrass myself!  As it happens I won hahah I just got lucky really!  Connor and Emily did a great job preparing and delivering the quiz! (thank you if you are reading this!) and we plan on taking turns hosting the quiz!



I had a few nice messages from Emily today - I never know what to say though when people are sympathetic to my situation - I don't want to reply and say - yeah its all crap, and I don't want to say - don't worry its all good - because is it isn't!  She told me that she was reading my blog, so hopefully she'll understand!  Anybody reading this will probably have the best insight into the situation although I never know if I express myself well or not.  I'm obviously not a very good or eloquent writer, but that is not what this is all about.  To be honest I wish other people I know would write a blog - because I'd love to see in more detail what they are up to and how they are coping and what they think and feel.

So - tomorrow is the day before the funeral, and I think we are all going to be very aware of it, but we have nothing to prepare or do - we are not having any kind of get together afterwards and there will be just 10 of us there.  If I'm very honest - I am absolutely dreading seeing the coffin - I find it hard to even say/type/think about that word because it should not be something I associate with my dad.  Last time at a funeral, I was horrified at the end when the coffin went rolling out through the curtain - and you knew what was going to happen.  It seems unbearable that I'll have to see that - knowing it is my dad, my wonderful dad who doesn't deserve to be there and shouldn't be there, and is only there because of this stupid, annoying, cruel damn virus.  Well, that was morbid and depressing....

I need to get to sleep...