Coronavirus stress head

Hi.

Figures first....

Wednesday
Total world cases: 1474,219-------------------53,391 increase
Total fatalities:  86,492-------------------------4,801 increase
UK total: 60,733---------------------------------5,481 increase
UK Fatalities: 7,097---------------------------  938 increase

Thursday
Total world cases: 1589,480-------------------115,261 increase
Total fatalities:  95,010-------------------------8,518 increase
UK total: 67,0755-------------------------------6,342 increase
UK Fatalities: 7,978---------------------------  881 increase

Hmmm I'm a little drunk and these figures don't seem right? I'll have to check tomorrow.

Today - I have actually felt - for the first time in my life - mentally not great.

I got up early - because I had work - I'd hardly slept.  I was completely stressed out about having to do a full 10 hour shift after a very bad nights sleep.  I was stressing about my dad - too, he'd been texting me at 11pm saying he couldn't get his antibiotics and had waited 5 hours.  He also said that the main nurse and the doctor that had been looking after him had gone off sick.  I was stressed when I woke up.  Andy, very kindly got up early with me - and I was chatting to him and getting very emotional about how stressed I was - how I hadn't slept and how I really wanted/needed to speak to somebody when I got into work about how I needed to work from home.  I left for work - got to the centre of Taunton - realised that I could not control my emotions - and was imagining me going to pieces at work and I turned around and started driving back home - I think I actually said out aloud - 'I actually did that' (turned around), I was surprised I'd actually done that.  I came home and emailed my new boss - who I don't even know and have only met once - and said to him - I am too emotional - my dad is in hospital and I'm worried about catching the virus and bringing it home.  I was such a mess and felt like a complete failure - I thought I was strong and could cope with anything - and there I was going to pieces.  I have been through many things in my life but never have I felt so physically ill from stress.  Luckily my new boss seemed quite understanding - although he thought it was all about my dad, which it is, mostly - but I'm not coping in many ways.  Andy is brilliantly supportive and spent quite a bit of time telling me how it is okay, to not be okay! I spoke to Helen - and she was also awesome and supportive and is in many ways feeling just as I am.   I think many people are feeling the same as me - this is a weird and bizarre world at the moment.   I spoke to my boss at 9am and also at 12 - and I said - I just need to not have to come to work for a few days - because I am not sleeping and one of the reasons why I am not sleeping is because I am worried about having to get through a 10 hour shift after not having slept.  He was cool about this and I appreciate it.

Andy pointed out that just weeks ago - we were living in our amazing house, he had an amazing job, I got up when I wanted and did what I wanted - improving the house, we were making extra money from the annex - and then BOOM it all turned to crap!  Regardless, I am really amazed that I can feel so bad from stress - all this is weird, hard and just awful - and difficult to accept.

So today - like other days I was soooo tired - I slept for hours in the afternoon - and when I got up, Andy - being amazingly thoughtful - played funny video's - jump scare videos and anything he could find to try and make me laugh as well as feeding me alcohol.  We ended up having a good night.  I have until Wednesday until I have to go back to work - so a few days not having to worry about that at least.

Coronavirus - huge death figures

Tuesday
Total world cases: 1420,828-------------------87,743 increase
Total fatalities:  81,691-------------------------7,509 increase
UK total: 55,252---------------------------------3,644 increase
UK Fatalities: 6,159---------------------------  786 increase

Wednesday
Total world cases: 1474,219-------------------53,391 increase
Total fatalities:  86,492-------------------------4,801 increase
UK total: 60,733---------------------------------5,481 increase
UK Fatalities: 7,097---------------------------  938 increase

938 UK deaths in the last 24 hours.  Wow.  We apparently haven't hit the peak yet either!

Our Prime Minster Boris Johnson - is now sitting up in bed - in intensive care - so if he couldn't sit up in bed before now - he must have been in a bad condition!  Hopefully he will be okay.  President Trump is getting a really bad rap - for being insane basically!  The headlines in the US are: Chaos rocks Trump White House on virus' most tragic day - Trump was saying they could see the light at the end of the tunnel - when they lost the most people in a day so far - 2,000 people.  When you see him in news conferences - he avoids questions and attacks the journalists.  It seems really bizarre to me - seeing a President acting so unprofessionally.  I don't ever remember seeing anything like it before with other presidents...but what do I know??  There are video clips about of him saying things and he is later saying the exact opposite. 

They have started moving patients into the Excel Centre in London now. There are news articles about morgues being set up to cope with all the dead people.  In Spain - they are having drive-thru funerals!  What the hell!  I can't even imagine that!!  Since I started writing this - about 15 minutes ago - there have been another 891 deaths in the world due to the virus.  It is insane and very scary. 

On a good note - my dad seems slightly better - there was talk of him being put into intensive care - being sedated and put on a ventilator - but they didn't want to do that as he is so well in himself - and today when I spoke to him he seemed to think that he had seen a slight improvement in his breathing and he did sound much better today - so hopefully he will continue to improve and get out of that hospital and back home!  It will be a week tonight since he was taken into the hospital. 

I have felt much better today - yesterday I was incredibly tired, and I was worried that I was coming down with something.  Today - I feel fine, other than feeling like I can't breath properly - apparently Helen is feeling the same.  This is just stress - I'm pretty sure about that!  Actually my breathing has been fine all day - until I started writing this blog and thinking about the virus and the deaths.  I am actually worried about my own life, and the lives of the people I love - nobody can be sure that they will survive if they get it - there are loads of reports of younger people with no underlying conditions that are dying.  So it wouldn't be normal not to be stressed at the moment!

So - right now I have nothing else to talk about - I have sat doing nothing all day - other than some vacuuming this morning.  I have chatted to Lissa and read her blog - I've spoken to my dad twice. 

not feeling great

Monday
Total world cases: 1333,085-------------------174,155 increase - 2 days
Total fatalities:  74,182-------------------------12,368 increase - 2 days
UK total: 51,608---------------------------------9,705 increase - 2 days
UK Fatalities: 5,373---------------------------  1060 increase - 2 days

Tuesday
Total world cases: 1420,828-------------------87,743 increase
Total fatalities:  81,691-------------------------7,509 increase
UK total: 55,252---------------------------------3,644 increase
UK Fatalities: 6,159---------------------------  786 increase

Hi.

So I woke up at 7am as usual - not getting enough sleep.  I came downstairs and got a coffee etc. and then was so tired I slept on the couch - after a while I thought I'd just go to bed and I slept again - over 10 hours sleep.  I was still really tired.  Paranoia started to set in that I had the virus, even Andy was staying away from me.  I got out of bed about 5pm - and felt better and thought that I don't have the virus at all.  It is now 10.30pm and I'm knackered and back off to bed again!!

It is not normal - how tired I am and not like me at all - I think it might be stress.  I've been struggling to breath too - but again I think that is stress. Never before I have felt stress physiologically but thinking about it - there is a world pandemic killing lots of people, my dad is in hospital in a pretty serious condition, I am starting a new job and my daughter and daughter-in-law are pregnant and expecting babies in the middle of it all - so it's not surprising that stress levels are high!

Earlier it really felt like I was coming down with something - but now I don't believe so - I'll see how I feel tomorrow.

Covid-19, Dad in Hosp and New Job

Well - I will start with figures - I messed up and missed Sunday!

Saturday
Total world cases: 1158,930-------------------75,629 increase
Total fatalities:  61,814-------------------------3,502 increase
UK total: 41,903---------------------------------3,735 increase
UK Fatalities: 4,313---------------------------  708 increase

Sunday
???

Monday
Total world cases: 1333,085-------------------174,155 increase - 2 days
Total fatalities:  74,182-------------------------12,368 increase - 2 days
UK total: 51,608---------------------------------9,705 increase - 2 days
UK Fatalities: 5,373---------------------------  1060 increase - 2 days

Headlines today - Boris Johnson, the Prime Minister is in intensive care.  They say this is a precaution.  My sister Helen thinks that this is outrageous - that he should take an intensive care bed as a precaution - whereas me and Paul think they are playing it down and if he is in intensive care - he needs to be there!  I think it is awful that he is so ill.  We need a leader right now and I think Boris Johnson has become much more popular since all this started.  I certainly think more of him - he has a Winston Churchill kind of presence - getting us through this difficult time.  I really hope he is okay.

My dad is doing okay - I think.  I did a video call with him yesterday - he actually called me accidentally - trying to take a pic and put it on facebook!  He hadn't been able to get on facebook - but I figured that out for him!  It was good to see his face!!  He looks better than I expected thankfully.  He put a pic on FB and I shared it - and it has had loads of responses.  I think this is because - although we hear loads about people being ill and dying - not many of us (it seems) knows somebody really struggling with it.  So when I put on FB that my dad was in hospital - loads of people reacted - and it was really really nice - and I appreciate everybody who has commented on my post - and my Dads.

My Dad told me that he had watched our video - of us dancing in the garden (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Is36k5I-El4) - he laughed about out outtakes - it was the first time I have heard him properly laugh in all the calls that I have had with him - I think getting on FB has made a big difference to him - or even better - it is a sign that he is getting better.  Today he is due a chest x-ray - this makes me nervous - and I really hope we get good news about this....

So - I went to work (not training) for the first time yesterday - I met my line manager and a few people on the team.  It all looks good!  I liked all the people I met - they seem to have a good working relationship, good banter!  I could not get onto most of their computer systems though so there was very little I could do.  I had a chat with my line manager - and we spoke about my previous experience - and I think he is pleased that I have come to him pretty much knowing what I am doing - just need to not mess up now I've bigged myself up lol.  Thank god (not literally) I was allowed to leave early due to not being able to actually do anything useful at the moment and I was so relieved because I was knackered really early and very bored....the place was very empty because of the lockdown and ppl working from home - something I was hoping for but am not really going to be able to do because I need guidance right now...

I now have 2 days off! I'm back at 8am Thursday - then its bank holiday - then I am back in at the weekend.  I am actually looking forward to getting some actual work to do - I think - it depends what they give me!

YouTube dancing!

Hi.

So - seen loads of funny dances and things online that ppl are doing whilst in lockdown - I was determined to do one, but Andy really didn't want to do it with me - but once I started practising he joined in - we ended up in the garden trying to film it - and inevitably one of us went wrong each time - took ages hahah

Unfortunately I have NEVER been able to get a video to work on this blog!  Shame cos I challenged Lissa to do a pregnancy one - which she did lol.  I challenged all the kids and partners to do one and they have all let me down.  I am hoping that once they see ours they might make more of an effort!!

Try this link:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Is36k5I-El4

I spoke to my dad again and he sounded awful.  I am extremely worried about him now - his breathing is just awful.  He also sounded a little confused at times but that might just have been us struggling to understand each other.   Nothing I can do!

We got online with Helen and Paul - set up a camera pointing downwards to a board game - and could see each other on computer monitor - was playing Dingbats - and had a really good laugh!  Was a pretty awesome evening - just like getting together. 

We didn't go to bed until about 3am!  Was a proper chill out day yesterday - try and forget all our worries.  I think it did us a lot of good!

Friday/Saturday

Hi - so I didn't post last night - probably because I was so relieved that it was Friday - I just wanted to sit and watch the entertainment Andy provided for me!

Here are the figures I would have put up yesterday:

Thursday
Total world cases: 1000,547-------------------87,637 increase
Total fatalities:  52,418-------------------------6,807 increase
UK total: 33,718---------------------------------4,244 increase
UK Fatalities: 2,921---------------------------  569 increase

Friday
Total world cases: 1083,301-------------------82,760 increase
Total fatalities:  58,312-------------------------5,894 increase
UK total: 38,168---------------------------------4,450 increase
UK Fatalities: 3,605---------------------------  684 increase

Saturday
Total world cases: 1158,930-------------------75,629 increase
Total fatalities:  61,814-------------------------3,502 increase
UK total: 41,903---------------------------------3,735 increase
UK Fatalities: 4,313---------------------------  708 increase






So the UK number of deaths, have risen each day - because I reported at different times of the day - sometime early morning sometimes late at night etc. I have used official figures rather than my own to show daily deaths here:




starting on 14/03/2020.......

10, 14, 20, 16, 33, 40, 33, 56, 48, 54, 87, 41, 115, 181, 260, 209, 180 , 381, 563, 569, 684, 708

I have no idea how long this is going to continue to go up before it starts coming down. I think we are expecting the figures to peak in 12 April....

We have build and are still building HUGE hospitals - there is one in London that can hold 4000 people (with 2 mortuaries) and it was on the news that one is being built in Bristol. An ice rink in Milton Keynes is going to be used as a mortuary... I can't see these being needed! Maybe that is simply my own inability to appreciate the scale of this - but really? We really need all these beds? Time will tell.

So - yesterday was the last day of my course - and it wasn't too bad. We got our new phones, and did training on body worn camera's. I am now off until 2pm Monday - then get Tuesday and Wednesday off. So few easy days! I still woke up at 7am though! Andy has been so good to me this week - he always is to be fair - but he has got up early with me every day - and has been there for me when I have come home in tears, or distressed because of my Dad or kamikaze pigeons! My sister Helen also recognised my very high stress levels and has tried to counsel me a little!

I spoke to my Dad yesterday and he told me that things improved after my chat to the nurse...but that the day before he really thought that he had been shut away alone in a room to die. It is no wonder he thought this because the news is full of how the virus is killing older people. I was so upset and annoyed to hear him say this. The NHS are getting SO MUCH praise - yet they stuck him in a room on oxygen and basically left him - without a buzzer or anything. He went hours gasping for a drink of water and couldn't get one! He wasn't allowed vistors or anything - and I thought that nurses would be caring and that families could be reassured that our loved ones would get care - not just medical care - but caring people looking after them. This was NOT the case. If I find out today that this is continuing I am going to start making noise - online, on the phone - anywhere! The nurse responsible for him told me that - the advice that they are given is to stay away from infected people as much as possible. STAND IN THE DOORWAY - anything but leave them completely alone - dying of thirst - scared and ill. I was hoping his coronavirus test would come back negative and he could be moved to an open ward and get the care he needed - but unfortunately his test came back positive. This means my mum has definitely had/has it too. She is getting over it now - hopefully. I'll call my dad soon and get an update.

Tonight we are supposed to be playing games with Helen and Paul online and it is our job to come up with some games! No idea atm what we are going to do!! We have the day to come up with something - Paul is really putting the pressure on for us to come up with something - and I don't want to disappoint.

We were chatting with the kids last night - Adam is still trying to grow a moustache lol - I think I mentioned this about a week ago and put up a pic. He doesn't look any different now! lol.

  

As usual - the family just made fun of him lol with the following pics:

   

  

HAHA Lissa really made me laugh with the initial pic of the iced gem - and the last one I thought was really funny!!!  Luckily Adam can take a joke! 

My Dad rushed into hospital with Coronavirus

Hello again,

Lets have a looksy at the numbers before I write my depressing post....

Yesterday
Total world cases: 912,910-------------------73,279 increase
Total fatalities:  45,611------------------------4,219 increase
UK total: 29,474-------------------------------4,324 increase
UK Fatalities: 2,352---------------------------563 increase

Today
Total world cases: 1000,547-------------------87,637 increase
Total fatalities:  52,418-------------------------6,807 increase
UK total: 33,718---------------------------------4,244 increase
UK Fatalities: 2,921---------------------------  569 increase

So today has been another bad day.  Last night - just as I was getting up to go to bed, Andy got a call from my sister Joanne - she'd tried me but my phone was on silent - as soon as I saw my sister calling Andy I knew it had to be bad.     She told us that my folks had taken a turn for the worst and had seen a doctor who had checked their oxygen levels - my mums were fine but my dads were low.  They have both been really ill - although some days my mum said that she was a lot better.  My dads oxygen levels were checked again later on - and an ambulance was called.  He had been taken about 20 minutes before this phone call.  After I got off the phone to Joanne I called my mum but it was engaged - so I tried my dads mobile and he answered from inside the ambulance!  He was breathless - and couldn't really speak - so I just said - I love you Dad - and then he'd gone.  I was really upset - and shaking, fearing the worse.  I have read so much about how people ended up alone, not allowed visitors - and also dying.

I took my depressed self to bed, and had a bit of a cry. 

Today I went to work/training course - fully prepared to leave if I heard any bad news.  I then heard that my dad has a chest infection and a blood infection - and had been tested for the coronavirus.  It was a pretty crappy day sitting in this training course worrying about my Dad.  The day finally ended and I was driving home and a friggin pigeon flew into my windscreen when I was on the motorway driving at 70mph - it was such a massive thump - i saw it coming a split second before it hit but there was nothing I could do.  This was awful - upsetting!  It was obviously killed outright and I was left with a horrible smear....and I thought - wow things are pretty shit right now!

When I got home - I called my dad and he sounded crap.  He is breathing was not good - they had put him in a side room on his own, on oxygen and were barely checking on him, had not given him his usual medication - and he was NOT happy - obviously lonely, worried and fed up - and ill!  So after a lot of messing about - I finally got to talk to the nurse responsible for him who told me that they have to stay away from patients suspected of having the Coronavirus - I had a chat with him and asked him if he could explain this to my dad because he was obviously scared and lonely and thought that the staff were just avoiding him and he couldn't understand why. 

I was chatting and updating all my siblings on a group app - a little while later my brother spoke to my dad and apparently he was much happier and was getting some sleep.  I think we might find out tomorrow if he has the coronavirus - but it seems pretty certain that he does.  I spoke to my mum who again, says she is feeling a little better.  She told me that she felt so bad earlier in the week that she thought she was going to die. 

Everything is just so stressful lately! I can physically feel the stress....I keep feeling sick, and am struggling to eat, I feel like I have adrenaline going around my system all the time, and feel slightly out of breath, I am tired all the time and not sleeping properly. 

One more day to go on this course and then I'll get the weekend off. I just want to get to that point - where I can maybe relax a bit - depending on my Dads health obviously!

At 8pm hundreds of ppl came out onto their doorsteps to clap for the NHS - I missed it AGAIN because I was writing this blog!  I must admit - I wasn't feeling that charitable towards the NHS after my dad felt so neglected....he didn't get any reassurance or much care really....but putting it into perspective - they are all amazing and are doing a great job at a difficult time.