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Monday, 11 May 2020
Staff Nurse Poem - Covid-19. Getting to the heart of it.
Lazy...Lazy....Laziness (me)...and Boris Johnson
Sunday, 10 May 2020
Fun in our English Country Garden!
Friday, 8 May 2020
Not a great day....
Wednesday
Total world cases: 3,807,554------------------- 97,109 increase
Total fatalities: 264,006-------------------------7,012 increase
UK total: 201,101------------------------------- 6,111 increase
UK Fatalities: 30,076--------------------------- 649 increase
Thursday
Total world cases: 3,909,187-------------------101,633 increase
Total fatalities: 270,249-------------------------6,243 increase
UK total: 206,715------------------------------- 5,614 increase
UK Fatalities: 30,615--------------------------- 539 increase
What can I say that I haven't already said? Its crap - ppl are still dying.....The majority of Thursday's papers were focused on the prospect of some possible changes to the lockdown.
"Happy Monday" is the celebratory headline in the Sun, as it reports on a likely "easing of lockdown restrictions". The Daily Mail proclaims "Hurrah! Lockdown freedom beckons", while the Daily Express goes for: "First steps to freedom". The Daily Star's headline describes 11 May as "magic Monday". There is a lot of speculation about what measures are likely to be relaxed and when. The Guardian suggests that straight away people will be allowed to sunbathe, have picnics and go rambling.
I think all of the above is just stupid!! I don't think Monday will bring any big changes to the lock down - and if there is then it is a big mistake. The government already set lock down rules too late, surely they won't make the same mistake again - and let everybody out again too early. I reckon any relaxation of the rules will be minor...we'll have to see won't we!
Our gardeners came yesterday - so I went out to have a quick chat (at a distance obviously) and Chloe asked how my new job was going - so I told her about only going in for one day, and then the next day I started to drive in, and turned around and came back because I just couldn't handle it - I told her how my dad caught the coronavirus - and said he didn't make it (I was really trying to hold back the tears) and then she started crying! which set me off!! We discussed how crap it all is - she asked how old my dad was and that really gets to me. People might hear 79 years old and think....well....he was old then. But it wasn't like that - he was still working, still capable and still had years left!!
Lissa also caught up with her own blog https://lilbeetroot.blogspot.com/ and she spoke about her grandad (my dad) being lost to the coronavirus - and it really made me cry. Reading from her perspective - it was just really sad. The fact that she is writing her blog again though, is a good thing! She is due her baby in less than 3 weeks now! As I've said before - I was supposed to be there with them for the birth, and I felt privileged and excited, nervous - but it would have been so special to witness....but the coronavirus put an end to all that - even her partner Antony will be restricted in how long he will be able to spend with her and the baby...
I also spoke to Helen who said that she had spoken to a psychiatrist (a colleague - as she is a Dr of psychology) and she said... our brains haven’t processed it apparently. Due to being unexpected, shocking, highly emotional... it’s not ‘processed’ in the way normal memories are. So my colleague reminded me...Hence they keep coming back, advice is to not push them away but to talk about them. So - me and Andy sat in the garden and I spoke about that last day in the hospital - getting all upset all over again - and then I just felt totally depressed - and so did Andy - who was very good and patient and just listened. It didn't feel like it did any good yesterday - but today I feel better about it.
So all-in-all yesterday was not a good day. The only good thing was that - I got an email from my boss - who said not to come in this weekend - to leave it until Wednesday. Phew. A few more days - because I am dreading it. I'll be in Wed/Thur/Fri - and then the Saturday is my birthday. Not something I am looking forward to - because we can't go out or do anything, we don't really want to spend money because our future is uncertain - and I'm going to be 49! My last year in my forties! How did I get this old? Helen always reminds me that some people are not lucky enough to make it until 49 or 50....so there is that.... Each year, the weather on my birthday is usually really nice - my Dad always said to me that the sun always comes out on my birthday and I was born in a heatwave...he'd call me and say - see the weather is always good!! So I'll miss that phone call....unless it rains lol.
Thursday, 7 May 2020
Slightly more productive day
Tuesday
Total world cases: 3,710,445------------------- 69,630 increase
Total fatalities: 256,994-------------------------5,178 increase
UK total: 194,990------------------------------- 4,406 increase
UK Fatalities: 29,427--------------------------- 693 increase
Wednesday
Total world cases: 3,807,554------------------- 97,109 increase
Total fatalities: 264,006-------------------------7,012 increase
UK total: 201,101------------------------------- 6,111 increase
UK Fatalities: 30,076--------------------------- 649 increase
So - as you can see we hit the 30,000 mark. That is a massive amount of people. Figures just keep going up and up....who knows where this will end, when it will end - if it will ever end.
News - Bank of England warn of deep UK recession. No shit Sherlock! There is speculation that some lock down measures could be eased on Monday....really? because we are doing so well? I don't think so! I guess some people just can't survive, pay the bills, buy food? We live in fear of Andy losing his job, in fact his role has already gone and his team are gradually leaving and finding other roles - so the fear is finding a new job - and if it all goes wrong we would lose the house etc. However, at the moment salaries are still being paid - so I guess we are lucky and would want the lock down measures to continue for our safety, but other people haven't been that lucky. But - if the measures are reduced, more people WILL die...the government seem to simply be concerned about the NHS coping - not people losing actual lives. It's tricky - because people are desperate to get some normality back, but a price will be paid until we get a vaccine...
Anyway - yesterday - Wednesday - I decided that I wasn't going to sit and do nothing all day like many days! So I went out into the nice weather and cut the grass. It takes about an hour and a half as there is so much lawn area, I do about 11,000 steps - which is more than our 5km walks - closer to 10km. So I guess it was exercise too. However, there ends up a lot of thinking time, as walking up and down with a mower doesn't keep you mentally distracted - so I kept thinking about my dad which made me obviously very sad. During this time, Andy was studying, for want of a better word, ready for an interview on Friday - he has been looking for another job but as you might imagine - not many people are hiring right now... Once the mowing was done - and I got cleaned up - we went and sat in the garden with a beer and just chatted, chilled out. We are both trying our best to keep our spirits up in the middle of the global catastrophe but it is not all that easy. When the sun started to hide behind the house - we came indoors - made food and got ready to go online with Helen and Paul.
It was about 7.30pm when we all got virtually together. I started off asking Helen how she was - and she'd had a chat with a colleague who is a mental health something-or-other. She mentioned post traumatic stress disorder - and I asked if she thought she had that (which wouldn't surprise me because what we went through in Manchester with Dad was pretty horrendous). But she said no - PTSD is something that appears at a later date when you haven't processed something - whereas she is struggling mentally now - she then had to go off screen for a minute because she got upset. I really felt for her - because she is doing what I keep doing - breaking down, remembering, hurting - it's not good. She pulled herself together and we all tried to change the subject - and started chatting about other stuff for a while - before playing a game. Me and Helen won - jointly - so we had a tie-breaker - and I lost lol. It had been a very nice distraction for a while - and I think I said it on Tuesday when we were online with the kids - it's the new way of getting together with people - and although its all online, it is the closest thing we have to social interaction. It was quite late when we got off this call - so we watched something briefly on TV then got to bed.
Wednesday, 6 May 2020
Walking and quiz night
Monday
Total world cases: 3,640,815------------------- 82,266 increase
Total fatalities: 251,816------------------------- 4,212 increase
UK total: 190,584------------------------------- 3,985 increase
UK Fatalities: 28,734--------------------------- 288 increase
Tuesday
Total world cases: 3,710,445------------------- 69,630 increase
Total fatalities: 256,994-------------------------5,178 increase
UK total: 194,990------------------------------- 4,406 increase
UK Fatalities: 29,427--------------------------- 693 increase
Bloody 693 again - every time, I think we are going to continue to see downward figures in the UK's death rate - they go back up again. This time - it makes us the worst hit Country in Europe and now the only country ahead of us is the USA. The next headlines, either today or tomorrow will be that we have hit 30,000 (today being Wednesday - as I am behind because I am writing the figures a day behind atm because unlike when I was at my mums, I am not updating this blog before I go to sleep, but rather the next morning.
So, yesterday me and Andy went out for a walk and this time we did my old 10km running route - don't think we passed even one other person which was good - we go 4km along a main road and the rest of the way is down country lanes. It was raining, which was nice and cooling - and the last 2-3km were fairly tough as my hips and feet were aching....but it was good to be out - and was good to feel like we were getting exercise. Apparently Andy burnt over 1000 calories - and me just under 600. That will explain why I put on 1lb - doesn't seem to matter what I do my weight just goes up and up..... This was not the reason we were walking though - we need to get fitter and increase our chances of surviving if we catch the virus. Especially Andy as about 70% of people dying from the virus are men, are large proportion are overweight... I saw that Andy (and me to some extent) found parts of the walk tough because it goes steeply upwards - but I wanted to get our heart rate up, so we set a fair pace too...
I got a nice shower when we got back - and Andy had to do some work...
Later we watched a bit of a new series called Into the Night - and I was chatting with Helen online - she has struggled again today - as have I to a smaller extent - I ended up not in the mood at all for our quiz night with the kids - however - I ended up really enjoying it again - it is just so good to get together with other people.

Tuesday, 5 May 2020
Lock down day 100,135....or so it feels
Total world cases: 3,554,549------------------- 88,884 increase
Total fatalities: 247,604------------------------- 3,857 increase
UK total: 186,599------------------------------- 4,339 increase
UK Fatalities: 28,446--------------------------- 315 increase
Total world cases: 3,640,815------------------- 82,266 increase
Total fatalities: 251,816------------------------- 4,212 increase
UK total: 190,584------------------------------- 3,985 increase
UK Fatalities: 28,734--------------------------- 288 increase










